Tuesday, September 13, 2011

The Book Hunter Watches a Movie

A couple of movies, actually. And a new TV show pilot.

Originally, I wanted to entitle this post "I don't remember high school being this interesting." The school I attended showed little potential for excitement. In fact, only two incidents stand out in memory, one of which was perpetrated by yours truly, sort of. 

Not the point. Shall we get to that?

Before I get into this, it's no big secret that I find Evan Rachel Wood's (The Life Before Her EyesAcross the Universe) talent ghastly at best. The only movie I seem to enjoy is the prerequisite film, Thirteen. I was shivering in my boots when she started to play a reoccurring character on True Blood during the third season. I jumped for glee as her character is quickly taken care of during the fourth. 

With that said, I don't know what led me to watch Pretty Persuasion, in which Evan Rachel Wood plays - unconvincingly - a private school prissy, bitch that just makes you want to slap the shit out of her and demand she stop acting. What? I can't be the only one, can I?

Kimberly Joyce is your sweet, down to earth girl. She befriends new student, Randa, Islamic in America, post 9/11, and warns her that people won't be as nice to her as she is. They'll laugh, she warns Randa. She is in a relationship with a guy she can't stand, who is dumber than dirt. Then there's the nearly absolute fake relationship between her and Brittnay. Ugh. How annoying can these girls be? Always cheering each other on, no matter what. When Kimberly gets the coveted role of Anne Frank in the school play, Brittnay is happy for her. Of course, things change a month later. And that's when the bullshit happens.

Let's just say, the three girls frame their beloved English teacher, played by Ron Livingston (Defying GravityOffice Space), for sexual misdeeds. They drag his name through the dirt just to get back at him for all the grief he's caused. And the twist? Well, the twist is something you'll get when you watch the damn thing, if you can. 

Brick, on the other hand, is a movie that I can get behind. It's set up like a film noir, only in high school. So while it's deep - kind of - there is some comical feel to it. 

This dark, high school tale stars Joseph Gordon-Levitt (The LookoutInception) as street smart Brendan, who is called upon his ex-girlfriend - portrayed by Emilie de Raven (RoswellThe Hills Have Eyes). When he finds her dead, Brendan sets off to find the killer, leading him into the underbelly of his high school social network. 

The film is next to unbelievable. There were points where Jyg and I couldn't help but to laugh - like when Brendan's about to smash Tugger's car window and Tugger - played by Noah Fleiss (Joe the KingEvergreen) - stomps his way toward him. Still, it is quite enjoyable and the best storytelling I've seen in quite some time, in a film about high school students, anyway.

It's no big secret that those behind the Marvel Comic films think fans are complete and utter idiots. That we'll watch whatever piece of crap that is thrown our way and wholeheartedly accept Mark Ruffalo as Bruce Banner. For the most part, they're pretty much right on the money.

How Thor struck up so many good ratings is beyond me. Perhaps it's all accredited to Chris Hemsworth's (A Perfect GetawayStar Trek) pretty face. One can only hope that hormones played a hand in it, because thinking this movie was actually worth the watch is kind of hard to swallow.

It feels the only agenda they're attempting to meet is filling up their pockets by releasing half-assed, plot-flaccid movies about our favorite superheroes. And if that's the sole goal, then I'm going to sit out when it comes to The Avengers movie they're building up for. I mean, c'mon - Mark Ruffalo, are you fucking serious?!

There isn't a single moment in Thor where I didn't have to shake awake just to remind myself that I was watching an "action packed" movie about the god of thunder. Nope. Even Loki failed to meet my supervillain  standards. Sure, he was cool - only not really. 

And it's not like the actors didn't try. They tried. Oh my goodness, did they try. But the movie still fails.

Speaking of fail, did you hear about this one? Get this, Fox decided to try out a new show. It's about a quirky girl who moves in with three guys - three guys who have serious female issues - and comedy ensues. Only, it doesn't. And Zooey Deschanel's (Tin Man(500) Days of Summer) ability to make a cute face on command won't save it. And I'm sure in a few months, when Fox realizes it's a dud, I'll see a shitload of complaints over on Tumblr about it. Because Hipsters want a savior, but they won't get the one they want, but the one they deserve and...yeah. I've got nothing more to say on that topic.

Still, how do you even attempt this? There's got to be a moment when the actors just shake their heads and say, "Well, at least we get paid."

I wanted to love The New Girl so badly, it hurt. I mean, how could I not? There is a reason why Jyg jabs me, jokingly, and says, "Look, it's your girlfriend," whenever she appears on the television. I give it six episodes before Fox pulls the plug. And if it lasts longer than that, I will no longer underestimate the hipster movement.

No comments:

Post a Comment