On Trial for Prostitution by Sammie Lake

Sammie Lake followed me on Twitter, so I gave the writer a chance. And considering saying that the short story "On Trial for Prostitution" was free on Amazon, I shrugged and downloaded it. It's as if I haven't learned my lesson. Nothing free is rarely worth reading (unless that free item comes from the publisher or writer).

Now, Sammie Lake has a good idea here. If you ignore the cliche tale of a student turned prostitute, you'll have to muddle through the cliche dialogue, the porn-speak, and the spelling errors (amongst other stuff, but I have another blog for detailing how this story could've been better). 

In short, this short story took longer for me to read than necessary. I'll head over to Chapin City Blues to write my input as an editor. You can read that when it's done.

You can purchased "On Trial for Prostitution" for you Kindle, but buy it when it's free.

Femme Fatale: Erotic Tales of Dangerous Women edited by Lana Fox

First off, I want to thank Go Deeper Press for allowing me to read this collection, and for thinking of me in the first place. I'd also like to thank Lana Fox for collecting these sexy tales for us to read. Moving on.

I always find it difficult to review collections and anthologies. I never know what to focus on, or what to say without giving away too much plot of one short story. Normally, I pick a few short stories to talk about. However, this collection only contains seven (that's right, one for every day of the week).

Murderous vixens skip through the pages of this book. Stories such as "La Femme Chocolat" by V.C., Bracken Macleod's "Some Other Time," and Zöe More's "Our Courtship, Our Romance" enrapture you with the stories of the most dangerous women.  V.C. introduces us to a candy maker who uses her sweets for revenge on those who have resisted or broken her heart. The writing brings the feel of a long forgotten pulp magazine, filled with modern references that easily go unnoticed. Bracken Macleod's brings to life an androgynous villain that sneaks into the heroine's sexual fantasies and, thus, our own. And the darkly deviant lovers featured in Zöe More's tale would make the Marquis de Sade and Wanda von Dunjew blush.

But not all the women featured in the stories are murderous by nature. The title character in Maricia Verman's "Elisabetta" is but the personification fantasy (the piece is short, so I might have given away too much there). And the woman featured in Abyssinia Grey's "Ash Wednesday" is but a Catholic cocktease reminiscing about the times she spent with the priest in a life before. And "Peeping" by Stephen Dorneman, a peeping tom gets a little more than he can handle when he's caught by a woman. 

However deliciously decadent these tales are, the one that stood out the most (that buried itself into my memory and woven into my fantasy, because it's been a fantasy of mine for some time) is Lana Fox's "Smart Folks Won't Screw Witless Girls." The tale follows a con-woman who robs the people that pick her up at bars and take her home with them. Then Elle walks into her life and it's a gamer changer for her.

You can purchase Femme Fatale: Erotic Tales of Dangerous Women for your Kindle or Nook. Until next time, happy huntin'.

Sol by Lana Fox

I want to start off this post by thanking Go Deeper Press for mentioning my little old blog on theirs. While visiting their link, I learned that they were giving a free read when you subscribed to their newsletter. It's book hunter etiquette 101 to never pass up a free read.

I'm going to go off on a limb here and say I've never heard of Lana Fox before reading her short story (flash fiction, almost), "Sol." In those six short pages (according to my Nook app), the reader receives a rather steamy forbidden love affair. Oh. And coffee. Erotica and coffee. It's a wonder why I never thought about putting my two favorite subjects together into one idea. Thank you, Lana Fox. I've made a mental note of this for a later affair.

There's no way to go into detail about a short story, so I won't. I'll just link the page where you can subscribe to Go Deeper Press's newsletter and receive your free copy.

In unrelated-to-review news, I'm currently gathering my thoughts on book piracy and my stance on the whole DRM mess. I'm also planning on compiling a list of my all time favorite books and perhaps do one of them 30-day challenges. I need to make this blog equal parts book-related posts and reviews, not just the latter.

Until next time, happy huntin'.

P.S. I'm also thinking of replacing my Kindle with a Nook, or just going the tablet route. This has a lot to do with my hypothetical post on book piracy and DRM. I'm still on the fence, though. However, Barnes & Noble is giving you $50 dollars to use when you purchase a Nook HD. That's fifty bucks you can use for your Nook, buying movies and e-books! What a deal! Those of you not on the fence about purchasing a new e-reader/tablet, I highly consider taking them on this deal. Just click the banner below.

Fifty Shades of Red Riding Hood by R. R. Hood

I'm sure the fact is exhausted – I really loathed Fifty Shades of Grey. It's terrible writing that managed to slip by publishers and fool good readers into thinking this is what erotica really is – shitty fan-fiction romance of an even shittier story. That said, I'm also incredibly tired of Fifty Shades parodies and spin-offs. That was until I stumbled across Fifty Shades of Red Riding Hood.

I took the liberty of highlighting several lines and passages I loved, which I've posted on Chapin City Blues.

Little Red Riding Hood isn't so little anymore, but she's still being stalked by a wolf while romancing the woodcutter. But there's something about the way this wolf treats her. Something about the way he carries himself. Whatever it is, her inner goddess craves it. Only one question, is Red Riding Hood willing to go along with what Mr. Wolf has in mind?

It's incredible how the author mimics the terrible writing style of E.L. James and never betrays it. Inner goddess, jeez, or something, constant references to her virginity, flood the pages of this short story parody. The only problem I had with the book was the after note about abusive relationships, as if condemning the sexual relationship found in Fifty Shades of Grey.

Fifty Shades of Red Riding Hood is available for $0.99 on Amazon. 

Wolf at the Backdoor by Marilyn More

I know what you're thinking, how could this not be a good story? Just look at the title - Wolf at the Back Door: An erotic tale of Anal Excitement. Notice the lack of capitalization in erotic tale. No. No, gentle reader. That's not important. What's important is the writer's ability to tell it. Yes. And let's just see some of those Shakespearean lines, shall we (to be linked shortly). As usual, to appease the advertisers, I've taken the liberty to censor the image.

As to not give too much away, let me summarize the story. A woman learns her husband is having an affair, so she answers a personal ad. There isn't too much character development - her sex life pretty much goes from bang bang bang to leave me the fuck alone, woman! There isn't any build up to the sex either, unless you consider pornographic cliches as build up (but that's pretty much like saying hugs and kisses are considered foreplay - I'm sorry to break the news, Ann Romney).

I will give Marilyn More some credit though; it takes brass balls to pull off what she did. I mean, giving us zingers like "'Oh my GOD, yes, fuck my ass baby!'" shows some initiative, and confesses that she has her own porn stash.

Wolf at the Back Door is only $0.99 on Amazon. Until next time, keep on huntin'.

Cuffed by Alison Tyler, Sommer Marsden & Sophia Valenti

It shouldn't come to anyone as a surprise, but I think I'm in love with Alison Tyler. I'm not sure when that happened. But as I read "Cubed," her short story featured in Cuffed: Three Tales of Erotic Bondage, my heart swelled (no, that's not some sort of innuendo). Her character has a choice between going home with a cowboy, or taking a chance with a shop teacher - spoiler alert, he's not a really a shop teacher. On the one hand, she can have casual, boring sex with someone closer to her age. While on the other, she can ignite her loins. (That sentence reads funny, but oh well.)

In "Hardcore," Corina learns that poking fun at her former hardcore boyfriend has its consequences, and its benefits. Sommer Marsden is semi-new to me, but her writing leaves me wanting more (in the good way). And Sophia Valenti brings us "Cuffed and Breathless," a tale about a police officer's wife who gets a lesson about the perks of impersonating a cop.

And as much as it may break my heart to admit this, I have to concede. Even though I am madly in love with Alison Tyler, Sommer Marsden might have won me over with her story.

You can pick up Cuffed for your Kindle, of pick up the paperback edition at Amazon. Until next time, keep on huntin'.

Jesus' Son by Denis Johnson

I first read Jesus' Son in college, during my first class with Jose Skinner (Flight and Other Stories). And of all the books I read in that class, and all of my college career, the words of Denis Johnson stuck with me the longest. Why? Because his ability to mix poetry with prose. Never before had I read a story where a character "knew every raindrop by its name," or whose heart broke for the person he would never find, the person who loved him.

The collection of stories follows a character whose name is never mentioned, though the moniker fuckhead follows him like a proverbial rain cloud. A junky, Fuckhead, walks through life having several misadventures, none without reason. He is lucky, but he's a failure. He tries, but rarely succeeds at anything. His friends are there one moment, and buried the next. 

There is no chronological order to the stories found within the covers of this book, but, nevertheless, the reader leaves with something he didn't have before - an experience only someone strung out on heroin could have felt. Because that's what Denis Johnson presents to us with his collection - literary heroin. And we'll keep going back for more.

Jesus' Son is available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble, for Kindle and Nook respectively. Until next time, happy huntin'.

The Darkness by Tony Cusumano

via Smashwords

Whenever a writer offers his work at discounted price or free, it's for exposure. Usually, the piece is a short story. Something that will hook a reader. However, not all freebies are the writer's best work. For instance, "The Darkness" by Tony Cusumano will not draw this reader back for more. In fact, I want to stay as far away from his writing as possible that I'm plotting to cancel my account with Smashwords - I won't because there are still several good writers there.

Maybe Cusumano has something in his work. Something new and interesting. The problem is that he's too - well - wordy. Repetitive. Redundant. Calling-captain-obvious-y. There's no way to explain it, so I'll give you a couple of examples:

"Darkness, or blackness, is the state of being dark, or the absence of light."

Really? Because I was totally unaware of this fact.

 "My hand, heavy, rough, and callused, fell heavy on your shoulder."

Well, of course your heavy hand will fall heavy on someone's shoulder. You just said it was heavy. As for "rough" and "callused," well, you know. Duh. There's a few more - like when the subject is drinking round after round, shot after shot, of bourbon. Or how passing cars light up the night with their twin headlights. Oh how a person is broken, beaten, and scarred.

It's creative writing 101 (whatever that means) to show not tell. However, showing by telling is boring. I'm not sure if that at all made sense to the reader here. Let's see, if you're too descriptive, you steal away from the story. If you can't make up your mind about one description of something - say round after round and shot after shot - maybe you shouldn't use either. Let's not for get the cliches. Oh my goodness, the cliches! 

The story is riddle with so many problems, I couldn't even get through the whole thing. And I'm "reviewing" this to be a jerk. No. Not at all. But if you're going to put something out there and want people to come back for more - probably with cash in hand - then you're going to have to give them something that's worth it. And I gotta tell you, "The Darkness" isn't that. 

 Another mistake - and I'm just assuming here - is the Jack Kerouac syndrome. You know the one - first draft, best draft! No. No. And no. I get it, we've all been there. We all think our writing is superb, that there is no room for revision. It'll betray what you were feeling. But if you're writing for yourself, keep a journal. When you're writing for an audience, you gotta, well, write for the audience.

Oh well, until next time. Keep on huntin'.

Crack in the Glass by Jonathan Carter

via SmashWords

I'm tired of the haunted mirror subgenre in the horror world. It's played out. Stick-a-fork-in-it overdone. That aside, Jonathan Carter's short story "Crack in the Glass" is beautifully written. Meaning, it has more potential than most of the free stories offered by Smashwords.

Gina lies in order to get on the Mystery Channel reality ghost chasing show, Graveyard Shift. The premise of the show is that every contestant must follow through on a dare. The last one standing receives a nice little nest egg. Gina, your typical sorority girl, decides to give it a swing. However, Gina's dare takes her to the Mirror Room in an abandoned mental hospital - also overplayed. And what awaits in those wall to ceiling to floor mirrors is a reflection from a ghostly past.

Like I said, Jonathan Carter's writing is marvelous. It would have to be to keep me interested in a story with such a premise. That's not an insult, by the way. It's a compliment. Isn't that the writer's job? Churn out something old but still make it interesting? Okay, perhaps it's not that blunt. Still, "Crack in the Glass" is still worth the read. It's short. It's creepy. And, most of all, it's interesting. It'll have me coming around to see what other ghastly tales Carter has in his library. 

One thing that bothered me, though. Only so much information can be pushed in a short story. "Crack in the Glass" could have been a least a novella. With Gina's Ouija board past, there could have been so much to work with. 

Anyway, I'm going to do something a little different now (only not really). Here's my 5 movie list dealing with mirrors and/or mental hospitals:

1. Mirrors
2. Poltergeist III
3. Psych 9
4. Grave Encounters
5. Gothika

"Crack in the Glass" is currently free on Smashwords. Until next time, keep on huntin'.

Doofus and Valiant by English Teacher X

via SmashWords

Remember those old issues of Highlights you read as children? Remember the polar opposite young boys named Goofus and Gallant? They had their own comic strip and everything. Goofus was the screw up of the duo, while Gallant did everything right. Well, I suppose, Doofus and Valiant - the short graphic story - explains what happens to the two after they graduate college and become English teachers.

And that's pretty much all I have to say about the story. Well, not really. I've never read anything by English Teacher X. Never even heard of him until this ebook, actually. The story's comical, but it's doesn't really offer anything - then again, neither did Goofus and Gallant. It's a quick read. And it's very much worth the price.

Doofus and Valiant is available on SmashWords for the low, low price of nothing.

Until next time, keep on huntin'.

Saw something that piqued your attention on the Oscar's last night? Why not check it out? Shop Amazon Movie - Oscar Central!

Boudoir Books by Summer Ellis

A more appropriate title for this post would have been, "Summer Ellis, Book Tease," but I digress.

Or have I? Because Summer Ellis is a book tease, at least with her short story, "Boudoir Books." Who ends anything with "to be continued" and not expect to be called names like book tease - which is sort of like co...you know what, I'll drop it.

A woman - does she have a name? who pays any attention to names when reading erotic fiction? - attempts to distract her sexual appetite by hunkering down at a bookstore. However, a man catches her eye as he reads erotica in a public place, his ever growing member calling to this nameless woman. What follows is way better writing than this review of mine - it's a short story, what do you want from me?

I may or may not have read something by Summer Ellis in the past. I'm too lazy and in pain to check for myself. Feel free to search the tags if you want. 

You should purchase "Boudoir Books" at SmashWords. I'm using the word purchase a tad loosely because, well, the book's free.

"Boudoir Books" is available in all formats via SmashWords. It's also available for Nook at Barnes & Noble. Amazon, however, does not have a copy so Kindle users are forced to open an account with SmashWords, which isn't such a bad thing.

Note on the "censored" image above: A while back, Google chided me for posting an comic image of a woman's hind side. This was a comic book image, and I stress this. I can only imagine the huffy, frothy message I'd get from them for posting this pic uncensored.

Until next time, keep on huntin'.

Best Bondage Erotica 2012

[Amazon] [Kindle] [B&N] [Nook]

Rachel Kramer Bussel - editor of books like Please, Sir and the upcoming, Best Sex Writing 2012 - returns with a collection of dark delights for those of us who take a walk on the wild side and those who want to venture there. Best Bondage Erotica 2012 is not for the faint of heart or the sensitive, but for those who want to add a little more spice into their lives. The stories presented here are easily adapted to real life scenarios, so don't just think of it as a collection of well written erotica by some of the best writers of the genre; instead, think of it as an instruction manual - Intro to Bondage. 

In Teresa Noelle Roberts's "Suffer for Me," we learn that bondage isn't just rope and leather. That our restraints can be mental as well as physical. We also learn that being climatically controlled can cause the same yearning arousal that handcuffs and servitude bring. And best of all, it also teaches us to remember that tingling sensation of concentrated lust time and again.

In "Melting Ice," Shoshanna Evers informs us that a bondage fantasy doesn't have to have two people. A pair of handcuffs and an ice cube is all Amanda Scott needs to get rocks off. 

Kay Jaybee pushes us further from just experimenting with the kinkier side of sex in "The Cupboard Under the Stairs," when a dominate invites someone else into their sex chamber. 

And Elizabeth Silver brings in the gothier side of BDSM in "Laced," as a bartender sees a friend in a light he's never seen him before.

Each story is carefully crafted to yank on our lusts (no pun intended - or perhaps it is) and I can imagine Bussel having a hard time to select which to use. Collected here, however, are the best bondage erotica that the year has to offer. I'm on the edge to see what's in store for next year.

Until next time, keep on huntin'.

The Deportees and Other Stories by Roddy Doyle

Purchase: [Amazon] [B&N] [Kindle] [Nook]

"Ireland America was never Ireland America to me." It's Langston Hughes rewritten, but the message works an ocean away from Harlem. And that's what drew me into Roddy Doyle's stories. Racism isn't just an American issue, nor is immigration. I'm sure the world will like to think so, but Doyle has painted a clear picture that it's not. But it's those topics that hit home. That made these stories memorable. 

The book collects nine stories - eight of which are set in Ireland, one in New York - and each deals with the xenophobia\racism of a nation. 

The title story is a sequel of sorts to Doyle's novel, The Commitments, in which Jimmy Rabbitte decides it's high time for another band. No whites, he wants to write in the ad. In fact, that's part of the interview. Do you like the Corrs? Are you sure you're not white? With a rag tag of immigrants, Jimmy decides that the name of this new band is The Deportees and they will sing folk songs rather than soul. 

"The Pram," a Polish nanny decides to seek revenge on her troublesome charges, two daughters who seemingly sabotage her romantic life, by telling them a ghastly story. Only the hauntings enter her waking life rather than their nightmares. The story echoes The Turning of the Screw with a slightly different ending.

In "Guess Who's Coming for the Dinner," a liberal-thinking father is faced with the fact that one of his daughters might be seeing a black man. How he acts surprises him and his family. Luckily, they're there to make sure he doesn't embarrass himself.

A group of teenagers shine some light on racism and stereotypes at local shops and how it hurts the stores financially in "Black Hoodie."

The Deportees and Other Stories is an eye opener at the state that we're in. Cross out Ireland and Irish and replace with America and American, and you'll see how this stories echoes across the sea. It makes the reader take a side step and evaluate how low we've come as a people by refuses others the seem benefits and dreams that we hold close to our hearts.

Before I close this post, I want to announce that I do have an extra copy of The Deportees and Other Stories by Roddy Doyle. And because I'm such a nice guy, I've decided to give one away.


Now this giveaway will take place starting the moment the Tumblr post or this post hits 30 notes/comments.  The rules are simple:

1. This giveaway is only open to residents of the Continental USA, sorry.
2. To enter, you must comment below and tweet the link, mentioning me in said tweet (@EnnuiPrayer).
3. Once one of the two posts hits 30, a period of fifteen days will pass before I draw a winner. 
4. I will announce said winner on both pages and my twitter - hence the reason I want you to mention me. You will then have a period of 48 hours to contact me with your address. If you fail to do so, I will pick draw another winner.

If you have a Tumblr, there's more, but I feel no need mention those here. You can check out the page if you feel like it. Until next time, keep on huntin'.

Read the new rules here.

Get a free $10 Barnes & Noble e-Gift Card. 

Crazy Emma by Brandie Buckwine

In college, I overheard a conversation two co-eds were having about a mutual "gay" friend. I say "gay" and not gay because of his bad habit of approaching unsuspecting ladies and grabbing their - well - butts. He'd then mock surprise, "Oops. I thought you were my friend. Sorry." I imagined he'd say this in some stereotypical gay fashion. 

Not sure what that anecdote has to do with Brandie Buckwine's short story, "Crazy Emma," but it did remind me of it. The "gay" never took home any of these women to make him un-gay, so you can draw the line anywhere you want.

Is it wrong to call an erotic story cute? Because that's what it is. Cute. Adorable, even. Emma - a waitress covering for a co-worker by doing the dishes - happens upon Derrick. When their eyes meet, Emma does something out of her character. She walks up to him and creates a history right on the spot. Derrick has to play catch up. Yada yada yada, she's looking for a new job. 

It's probably not the best erotic fiction I've read, but it sure as hell blows the pants off the last few short stories I've read - the disappointing ones, anyway. It's available on Amazon and Smashwords for the low, low price of absolutely nothing. That's right, folks. Free. Something worth reading that's also fun, for free. Until next time, keep on huntin'.

The Death Clock

Andrea Lee Vibert has a problem. On her way to work one morning, she realizes she is now living inside a Nickelback music video. Numbers - counting down - are perched on people's heads. She notices how she doesn't have any numbers ticking backward. Of course she wouldn't - where's the fun in that?

Just how did those numbers get there you ask? Well, during the whole hubbub of her morning rituals - drinking coffee, reading her book, and riding the bus to work - she remembers that someone died saving her life the night before. Funny. If anyone else had witnessed a death - especially the death of someone who saved their lives - I doubt that normality would set in so quickly.

Of course plot devices are used to push the story. This is something we all know. But don't you think it's odd that before she gets on the bus, she doesn't notice red numbers floating over people's heads? Do you think she'll be calm enough to read on a bus after the previous night's event? And why in hell sake would you assume that the coffee is to blame for it?

The story is unimaginative - did I mention already how it was a blatant rip-off of a Nickelback music video? - and is not worth the money spent - did I already mention it was free? How it managed to rank such a high rating on Amazon and Smashwords is beyond me.

It's Erotica, but Not as We Know It

Ever have a fantasy that you thought was wild and sexy? One so downright naughty that you'd blow the pants anyone you told? It's so damn juicy that you're convince that it should be published so the whole world can bath in your...okay, this is getting a tad gross even for me. Anyway, continuing on: And once you get it published - preferably though some independent press or self-publishing venue - you sit back and wait until everyone's spasming from your sexual bravado. Only, sometimes what you expect isn't what you get. 

Outside her blog, I've never read anything by Rachel Boleyn, so I have nothing to compare Daddy's Lil Devil to. I feel I'm repeating myself whenever I review erotic fiction from writers I've never heard of before. Let's face it, not everyone can be Alison Tyler.

Perhaps cashing out on the moral loophole of Amazon's ban of incest erotica, writers like Boleyn tread the brim by writing about daughters lusting after their step-fathers. However, the idea is tired. In Daddy's Lil Girl, Camille masturbates to the fantasy of her step-father, Ted. She realizes that all those years of his punishment - a belting whenever she steps on his Baptist minister's wrath - are leading up to her fulfilling her deepest fantasy - having sex with the stern Baptist minister. She even toys with the idea of turning the table and belting him. Then one day, the vixen makes her move to seduce him. Once again, Ted enters her room, belt in hand - we have to remember that Camille's already 18, as per Amazon's guidelines, and have to accept that Ted is still spanking her - and starts off with his usual spanks, but succumbs to the devil's delights.

But where's the hook? Are we so desperate for new literary smut that we're willing to bastardize the erotic genre and turn into sheer pornography? "Less poetry," the collector told Anaïs Nin. "Be specific." But specifics have a downside when they're, well, too specific. Especially when it's told half passively. 

"Daddy's Lil Girl" is available for Kindle and Nook. And for a limited time, it's free on Smashwords. Until next time, keep on hunting.

Is zombie romance possible?

"They said it couldn't be done," Lori Perkins states in her introduction for Hungry for Your Love: An Anthology of Zombie Romance. Only, didn't S.G. Browne already touched on this subject in his novel, Breathers? Either way, Perkins compiled a collection of short stories from well known writers - such as Francesca Lia Block and Brian Keene - that is worth the read.

The stories range from silly and cute to erotic and weird to are you kidding me?  Because there are so many stories I'd have to review in order to get the full on idea, I'd like to just point out some of my favorites. And not review them. I do a horrible job at reviewing things like this. I'm complaining. Perhaps for filler.

Francesca Lia Block's (The Frenzy, Open Letter to Quiet Light) "Revenants Anonymous" introduces us to Casey, whose eye is set on Ed - both of which are revenants attempting to fight their natural urges of feasting on flesh by going to Revenants Anonymous meetings. At times, it's hard to tell whether these are zombies, or the aftermath of suicides. They're people attempting recreate a humanistic emotion, to feel - well - alive again.

In "Captive Hearts," Brian Keene (Dead Sea, A Gathering of Crows) thrusts us into a devoted marriage, in which the wife stands by her husband no matter the circumstances. Whereas, Stacey Graham gives us a insight to zombie love at first sight with her cutesy story, "Eye of the Beholder." Regina Riley's (Pistons and Pistols, Flirting With Death) "Undying Love," love stands the test of time, death and undeath - mixed in with some old fashion black magic.

I suppose if I had to choose the strangest - probably most disturbing - piece in the anthology, it would be "Julia Brainchild" - get the lame pun of a title? - by Lois H. Gresh (The Science of Supervillains, Eldritch Evolutions) in which an incestuous zombie relationship takes place on a live cooking show.

All in all, cute, depressing or disgusting, Hungry for Your Love is a must for fans of the undead. Until next time, keep on huntin'.

Home Visits by Gemma Parkes

After yesterday's review of Gemma Parkes' short story, "Good Doggy," I decided to purchase "Home Visits" - a short story also available for Kindle. You can't blame me for trying, right?

I don't want to take back what I said yesterday. Everyone has their tastes in erotic literature and Parkes' work might not tickle my fancy - could it be that I'm not British? However, there's something unsexy about the use of the word "bottom" when referring to one's ass. Babies have bottoms. Adults have asses. There's nothing exciting about the former - we find them cute (sometimes). Words are an author's trade. Picking the right word should be a matter of importance. Hell, in the coming weeks, I'll probably look this review over, find a mistake or something that might need rephrasing and edit it. Or I'll shrug and then carry on. I accept that we sometimes have to stop working on the edit - though, one of my mentors once told me that a writer's editing work is never over.

So what about "Home Visits?" It was slightly more erotic than "Good Doggy," I'll give you that. However, it's still lacking the essence that I'm looking for in an erotic story. There's not build up. There's no want or need or longing. Instead, it's all wham, bam, thank you ma'am. Which is all right for a one night stand, but I plan on taking my erotica to bed with me (take that anyway you want to).

Once again, Gemma Parkes brings us into the world exhibitionism when a woman takes a client for a friend. Expecting the same old escort/prostitute song and dance, she learns that she was hired to play with the client's wife/girlfriend instead. She gets turned on attempting to please the woman and the man at the same time - he's watching after all. It's around this time when the narrator starts to worry, "I glance up at the man. He still appeared calm. I realised that this wasn't hot enough for him." Irony? Can we call this irony? Here I am, the reader, hoping for some excitement, but instead get this story.

I'll give it a break. I'm not going to deny Parkes the right to express her sexual desires. I'm just not going to partake in them anymore. Until next time, keep on huntin'.

Good Doggy by Gemma Parkes

I was a little skeptical. I believe I had every right to be skeptical. After posting my review of Alison Tyler's "On Finding Jon's Porn" on Good Reads - which then announces it on Twitter - I got a reply about Gemma Parke's short story, "Good Doggy." Being the good book hunter that I am, I quickly went over to Amazon to check things out. I then went to Good Reads to see what others were saying about the story in question or anything else by Gemma Parkes. 

"Good Doggy" wasn't the story that caught my eye. That was reserved for "Home Visits." However, I was deterred from purchasing either story. The reason? Both stories had five-star ratings, which were give by Gemma Parkes. There's nothing wrong with self-promotion, so I don't hold it against the author to advertise on Twitter by replying to anything I post. In fact, I encourage new or unknown writers to do so. However, I draw the line at self-rating. So I almost went without purchasing any story by Gemma Parkes. But then, curiosity - as it is my mortal enemy - overwhelmed me and I purchased "Good Doggy."

I've never heard of the term dogging before tonight. It's essentially having sex in a car parked in a public place with other people watching or even joining in. Okay, you've piqued my interest. 

The story follows a woman's introduction to the dogging scene. The story isn't any special, but I'm not stating it's not worth a gander - it most certainly is. I'm not going to jump the shark and state that Gemma Parkes should just quit while she's ahead. Maybe this story wasn't for me. Maybe, I should've just gone ahead and purchased "Home Visits" instead. Either way, I'm not going to quit on her now. 

My problems with the story - first let me go over the superficial things - starts with the format. I don't know who to blame this on - I mean, Alison Tyler's "On Finding Jon's Porn" also had some format faults that bugged me. Spacing before paragraphs that come and go begins to make me tick. The pace was also a tad too quick. Sex is supposed to be sensual, therefore, erotica should follow suit. If you're lover doesn't tease you with foreplay and rushes to the point, you feel unsatisfied and unworthy of their patience. The same goes for the erotic writer. I don't want "less poetry." I don't want the writer to just "be specific." I'm also not looking for the next Anaïs Nin. If I wanted cheap thrills, I'd just watch pornography.

Gemma Parkes has potential. And I wish her luck on this journey. "Good Doggy" is available for Kindle for only $1.00. Until next time, keep on huntin'.