Tuesday, August 9, 2011

The Book Hunter Watches a Movie

It's no big secret that I loved the Scream trilogy. I mean, it reinvented and made fun of the slasher flick genre. Without it, we wouldn't have had movies like...um...Urban Legend. And...um...I Know What You Did Last Summer. And um... Well, you get the point.

We also wouldn't have the famous pop culture reference, "What's your favorite scary movie?" Or those godawful Scary Movie sequels.

But in the age of remakes, Wes Craven and Kevin Williamson decided on giving us a sequel. One that attempts to remake the original - have I lost you yet? Good.

Back when this film was a rumor, I shrugged it off. There was no way anyone was stupid enough to think a third sequel to the Scream franchise would work. Let alone stupid enough to think that a fourth part would spark a new trilogy.

Blame it on my high school crush on Neve Campbell - meaning, I was in high school once - but the moment I saw the Scream 4 trailer, I got giddy. Jyg insisted it looked stupid, like it was attempting to be a comedy - apparently, she'd never seen the first three parts. While I didn't - much to Jyg's power of persuasion - get to see the film the moment it came out, I finally got to see it some several months later. And I gotta tell you. She had every right to keep me out of the theater. 

What I witness wasn't a film. It was an abortion of the genre. I stand in disbelief something so godawful could be birthed by the people responsible - even though Williamson didn't write third installment - for the original three. 

And the "idea" wasn't lost on me. I get it. Maybe it was made to suck on purpose - I mean, have you ever seen a decent remake? - to prove a point: "Don't fuck with the original." But the humor in this film was goofy, terrible, didn't even set the film in motion. And because it was rumored as a first in a new trilogy, I assumed that the new cast would take the helm and lead us into new adventures with Ghost Face. Instead, we're stuck with Neve Campbell and the failed Hollywood marriage because someone thought it would be a great idea to [redacted due to spoiler alert]. 

Perhaps the Weinstein company should've left this in the back burner. Or provided the audience with an actual remake. Or perhaps the Internet should've kept it fucking mouth closed so that no one would catch wind of this horrible idea and those of us content with the trilogy ending would have been left at ease.

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