Star Wars: Red Harvest by Joe Schreiber

via Wookieepedia

A long time ago in a blog post way, way in the past...

I read a novel that combined two things I hold true in my heart, zombies and Star Wars - the real Star Wars, not those prequel abortions (with the slight exception of Revenge of the Sith as I have a soft spot for bad guys winning). I discovered the novel in the most absurd way - I discovered it on 4Chan. Before Star Wars: Death Troopers, I never heard of Joe Schreiber. To be honest, I never did much venturing to read some of his none Star Wars books. I'm thinking about it now, though.

Darth Scabrous, the Sith Lord, discovered a lost plan from a predecessor. A elixir for immortality. All he needs is the Murakami orchid, an orchid so rare that it can only be found in one location - the Jedi Agricultural Corps. In order for the orchid to remain alive, it must be accompanied by a Jedi with plant growth skills. When a bounty hunter kidnaps Hestizo Trace and her orchid charge, her brother, Rojo, finds himself on a rescue mission on Odacer-Faustin, home to a Sith academy.

It's easy to overlook all the major players of this novel when cutting it down to a summary. The fact alone that it opens at the Sith academy leads the reader to believe that every character plays some important role - and they do, sorta. Maybe. They carry their own plot line, if that means anything to you.

What keeps me from loving this novel is Schreiber's insistence on killing every single character that I loved. Even though I know it's rare for a Jedi and Sith to work with each other, it's still bothering that none of them ever, well, meet. 

Star Wars: Red Harvest is available on Amazon and for Kindle, as well as, at Barnes and Noble and for Nook.

The Book Hunter Sells

So with a kid on the way, I decided it was time to start clearing some of my clutter - that includes, sadly, a few of my books. Whatever I don't sell, will wind up in storage or donated - possibly. At the moment, all I have for listed on eBay is a few issues of Playboy. I'm new to the whole eBay selling - can you tell? - so bear with me. Check out the link on the side bar.

For issues, check under the break:

The Ballad of Ballard and Sandrine by Peter Straub

Every so often, I'll come across a book and wonder what I just read. When this happens, I either put the book down and go for a walk, or I turn to the first page and try again. I went for a walk today.

The Ballad of Ballard and Sandrine tells the story of two lovers - an older man and the daughter of his client - throughout the decades. Think Memento, if Memento ended with the beginning, as well. 

Normally, I'll rehash some of the events for summary purposes, but I don't know what I read, so I can't. I know that they're on a boat. That Sandrine is a bit independent. That they both fell in love with each other the moment they met each other. That Ballard might have something to do with the mob. That, on the yacht, an invisible bird-speaking servants run the show. And thrown in there is a giant bug in a cage, which they might be eating, or they might be eating toucan.

In short, it's a little like Naked Lunch without any real interest from me. 

The Ballad of Ballard and Sandrine is available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble (I'll link this later, if I remember as the service is currently disabled).

Oh well, until next time - keep on huntin'.

How to Train Your Dragon

Today was an impromptu movie day in the Children's Department of the library. Because three assistants were working, we chose a movie each - Kung Fu Panda 2, How to Train Your Dragon, and Legend of the Guardians. 

The first film was Kung Fu Panda 2, but because I went to lunch, I didn't finish, so I won't be "reviewing" it. And because I went to lunch, the movie I had chosen - Legend of the Guardians - was left for last, when I went home. Therefore, the only movie I actually saw was How to Train Your Dragon. 

For the most part, I think the film was picked solely because we're reading the book for that International Book Discussion. However, as I was warned, the movie pretty much just steals the title, some of the character names, and takes nothing of the plot. That is to say, the film is way more enjoyable than the book. I know, I'm sure my book hunting license is being revoked as I'm typing this.

Like the book, Hiccup is the old boy out - he's not Viking material and a constant disappointment to his father. He's the laughingstock among his peers. Unlike the book, the Vikings are at war with dragons, not dragon trainers. Toothless isn't exactly toothless. And there's this blonde girl name Astrid, the token love interest of our would-be hero. Instead of teaching his Viking brethren a new way to train their dragons, Hiccup shows them a way to coexist.

On the scale, I'd give How to Train Your Dragon a 4.5. It's an enjoyable cartoon with an animated cast of voices - you work that out for yourselves. Let's not forget it also made a slow day more bearable. Until next time, keep on huntin'.

How to Train Your Dragon is available on Amazon for BluRay and DVD.

Anya's Ghost by Vera Brosgol

I picked up Anya's Ghost before the weekend last week to read after finishing up with How to Train Your Dragon. However, Cowell's fantasy story about a boy and his dragon was less than captivating that I never got around to Brosgol's graphic novel. And this morning, when I finished reading How to Train Your Dragon, I started reading Erin Hunter's Warriors: Into the Wild - the first book of the original series, which is currently only $0.99 for Kindle. I also purchased this e-book on Friday before the weekend started. Before continuing with Into the Wild this afternoon, I decided to take a crack on Brosgol's book. I didn't intend to devour it so quickly - it's common for me to do this with a graphic novel, so I do attempt to pace myself - but it's just so entertaining that I couldn't put it down. 

It's a great book - funny, cute, and creepy all in one. However, the thing that I found most disturbing is how I found this book in the department I work in - the children's! I'm not an uber conservative person - if you look at my posts, you'll see this - but there are just some things I think aren't suitable for juvenile readers. Suggestive sex is one thing, manwhoring is another. Let's not ignore the creepy part of the book, which I won't reveal for fear of posting up spoilers.

The story follows Anya Borzakovskaya, a Russian immigrant who has spent most of her adolescent life erasing her cultural past in order to fit in. Your typical misanthropic teen girl who secretly pines over the jock boy and obsessing with her weight. One day, as she walks off some steam, she falls into a well where she discovers the remains of a girl who died over ninety years ago. To make things worse, the same girl is still taking up residence there - her ghost, anyway. When a piece of the girl's bones escapes with Anya, Emily Reilly - the ghost's real name - begins to haunt Anya's life - which is welcome. Emily helps Anya cheat on tests and improves her social and love life. But there's something off about Emily Reilly and Anya sets off to see what secrets her otherworldly friend has taken to her graven. What she discovers not only puts her in the line of trouble, it also threatens those she loves.

Anya's Ghost is a captivating read, perhaps for a young adult reader rather than a juvenile one. It's one part quirky, one part horror, and completely entertaining. Most young readers might relate to some of the everyday perils Anya finds herself in, regardless if they're immigrants. 

You can find Anya's Ghost on Amazon and Barnes and Noble. Until next time, keep on huntin'.

How to Train Your Dragon by Cressida Cowell

Remember when I stated that we were to read Wonder Struck for the International Book Discussion at the library? Yeah, well, the book changed because the price was too, well, pricey. So the library picked How to Train Your Dragon, a thinner, less expensive novel written by - possibly - a less pretentious writer. Great, that's sixteen dollars I won't be seeing again. On the upside, at least I didn't have to pay for this one. 

Co-worker Mike C. told me not to "cheat" and watch the movie thinking it was the same thing. Apparently, it's not. And a book hunter would never make such a novice mistake. So I cracked the novel and started reading. I was anticipating a short read. At least it didn't take me as long as Wonder Struck. Easier on the back, too.

How to Train Your Dragon is you're typical hero book. The wimpy Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third is bullied by the piggish Snotlout. Aside from Fishlegs, Hiccup's the laughing stock of the Hairy Hooligans. It would probably be okay if Hiccup were just another Viking's son, but he's the son of Stoick the Vast, the chief of the Hairy Hooligans, meaning Hiccup is next in line. Not if Snotlout has something to say. Undermining everything Hiccup is, Snotlout thinks of himself as the next chief. So much so that when the boys pick their dragons - a rite of passage into the Hairy Hooligans - Snotlout picks a Monstrous Nightmare - a dragon only meant for the chief and his son. When trouble arises while picking their dragons, Hiccup gives up his dragon in order to save Fishlegs from exile. He returns to the dark dragon cave to retrieve another dragon for himself, grabbing a mysterious dragon that he "felt" was there. When Hiccup discovers the only remarkable thing about his dragon is how remarkably small it is, well, that's when things start getting interesting.

Like I said, the book's pretty much your run of the mill hero story. It's the same archetypal character. From Frodo Baggins to Peter Parker to Harry Potter, it's the small guy can save the world idea. And Hiccup and his small dragon, Toothless, prove just that. Cowell does present us with a story worth reading, but I can't imagine how the other books will differ from the same, basic idea - Hiccup, the boy you can't see as a hero, doing heroic things. And I can't see me reading them.

How to Train Your Dragon is available at Amazon and Barnes and Noble.

Until next time, keep on huntin'.

The Darkness by Tony Cusumano

via Smashwords

Whenever a writer offers his work at discounted price or free, it's for exposure. Usually, the piece is a short story. Something that will hook a reader. However, not all freebies are the writer's best work. For instance, "The Darkness" by Tony Cusumano will not draw this reader back for more. In fact, I want to stay as far away from his writing as possible that I'm plotting to cancel my account with Smashwords - I won't because there are still several good writers there.

Maybe Cusumano has something in his work. Something new and interesting. The problem is that he's too - well - wordy. Repetitive. Redundant. Calling-captain-obvious-y. There's no way to explain it, so I'll give you a couple of examples:

"Darkness, or blackness, is the state of being dark, or the absence of light."

Really? Because I was totally unaware of this fact.

 "My hand, heavy, rough, and callused, fell heavy on your shoulder."

Well, of course your heavy hand will fall heavy on someone's shoulder. You just said it was heavy. As for "rough" and "callused," well, you know. Duh. There's a few more - like when the subject is drinking round after round, shot after shot, of bourbon. Or how passing cars light up the night with their twin headlights. Oh how a person is broken, beaten, and scarred.

It's creative writing 101 (whatever that means) to show not tell. However, showing by telling is boring. I'm not sure if that at all made sense to the reader here. Let's see, if you're too descriptive, you steal away from the story. If you can't make up your mind about one description of something - say round after round and shot after shot - maybe you shouldn't use either. Let's not for get the cliches. Oh my goodness, the cliches! 

The story is riddle with so many problems, I couldn't even get through the whole thing. And I'm "reviewing" this to be a jerk. No. Not at all. But if you're going to put something out there and want people to come back for more - probably with cash in hand - then you're going to have to give them something that's worth it. And I gotta tell you, "The Darkness" isn't that. 

 Another mistake - and I'm just assuming here - is the Jack Kerouac syndrome. You know the one - first draft, best draft! No. No. And no. I get it, we've all been there. We all think our writing is superb, that there is no room for revision. It'll betray what you were feeling. But if you're writing for yourself, keep a journal. When you're writing for an audience, you gotta, well, write for the audience.

Oh well, until next time. Keep on huntin'.

The First Hunt, or Why Working at a Library Isn't Such a Good Idea for a Book Hunter

Okay, I've embellished a bit. The top and bottom book were not purchased at the current book sale. The second to last book - Children of Wrath - is actually a book I snagged from a giveaway from LibraryThing, where I also snagged three e-books - Ministry of Morgasm (Richard Buzzell), The New Death and Others (James Hutchings), and Dirty Little Angels (Chris Tusa).

After missing work yesterday, I walked in to see that the Friends of the Library book sale table was set up this morning. A day wasted on reading and back pain could've been used on perusing these orphaned windows. Unlike like the last time - which only amounted to purchasing one book, Tuck Everlasting - the table held more promise in the form of Joyce Carol Oates' Foxfire, Borders by Pat Mora, a children's book by Ursula K. Le Guin - Catwings - and Che Guevara's Reminiscences of the Cuban Revolutionary War.

As for The Poe Shadow by Matthew Pearl, well, that was just a library gift shop fine. The week that I saw it, I told Lee - the gift shop runner - that if the book was there the following Monday after work, I'd buy it. It just so happened that the book gods wanted me to have it.

Total price for these beauties? $6 

Remember to shop smart and keep on huntin'.

Crack in the Glass by Jonathan Carter

via SmashWords

I'm tired of the haunted mirror subgenre in the horror world. It's played out. Stick-a-fork-in-it overdone. That aside, Jonathan Carter's short story "Crack in the Glass" is beautifully written. Meaning, it has more potential than most of the free stories offered by Smashwords.

Gina lies in order to get on the Mystery Channel reality ghost chasing show, Graveyard Shift. The premise of the show is that every contestant must follow through on a dare. The last one standing receives a nice little nest egg. Gina, your typical sorority girl, decides to give it a swing. However, Gina's dare takes her to the Mirror Room in an abandoned mental hospital - also overplayed. And what awaits in those wall to ceiling to floor mirrors is a reflection from a ghostly past.

Like I said, Jonathan Carter's writing is marvelous. It would have to be to keep me interested in a story with such a premise. That's not an insult, by the way. It's a compliment. Isn't that the writer's job? Churn out something old but still make it interesting? Okay, perhaps it's not that blunt. Still, "Crack in the Glass" is still worth the read. It's short. It's creepy. And, most of all, it's interesting. It'll have me coming around to see what other ghastly tales Carter has in his library. 

One thing that bothered me, though. Only so much information can be pushed in a short story. "Crack in the Glass" could have been a least a novella. With Gina's Ouija board past, there could have been so much to work with. 

Anyway, I'm going to do something a little different now (only not really). Here's my 5 movie list dealing with mirrors and/or mental hospitals:

1. Mirrors
2. Poltergeist III
3. Psych 9
4. Grave Encounters
5. Gothika

"Crack in the Glass" is currently free on Smashwords. Until next time, keep on huntin'.

Doofus and Valiant by English Teacher X

via SmashWords

Remember those old issues of Highlights you read as children? Remember the polar opposite young boys named Goofus and Gallant? They had their own comic strip and everything. Goofus was the screw up of the duo, while Gallant did everything right. Well, I suppose, Doofus and Valiant - the short graphic story - explains what happens to the two after they graduate college and become English teachers.

And that's pretty much all I have to say about the story. Well, not really. I've never read anything by English Teacher X. Never even heard of him until this ebook, actually. The story's comical, but it's doesn't really offer anything - then again, neither did Goofus and Gallant. It's a quick read. And it's very much worth the price.

Doofus and Valiant is available on SmashWords for the low, low price of nothing.

Until next time, keep on huntin'.

Saw something that piqued your attention on the Oscar's last night? Why not check it out? Shop Amazon Movie - Oscar Central!

Boudoir Books by Summer Ellis

A more appropriate title for this post would have been, "Summer Ellis, Book Tease," but I digress.

Or have I? Because Summer Ellis is a book tease, at least with her short story, "Boudoir Books." Who ends anything with "to be continued" and not expect to be called names like book tease - which is sort of like co...you know what, I'll drop it.

A woman - does she have a name? who pays any attention to names when reading erotic fiction? - attempts to distract her sexual appetite by hunkering down at a bookstore. However, a man catches her eye as he reads erotica in a public place, his ever growing member calling to this nameless woman. What follows is way better writing than this review of mine - it's a short story, what do you want from me?

I may or may not have read something by Summer Ellis in the past. I'm too lazy and in pain to check for myself. Feel free to search the tags if you want. 

You should purchase "Boudoir Books" at SmashWords. I'm using the word purchase a tad loosely because, well, the book's free.

"Boudoir Books" is available in all formats via SmashWords. It's also available for Nook at Barnes & Noble. Amazon, however, does not have a copy so Kindle users are forced to open an account with SmashWords, which isn't such a bad thing.

Note on the "censored" image above: A while back, Google chided me for posting an comic image of a woman's hind side. This was a comic book image, and I stress this. I can only imagine the huffy, frothy message I'd get from them for posting this pic uncensored.

Until next time, keep on huntin'.

The Woman

via Furious Cinema

Meet the Cleeks, the model family. Father, Chris, works in civil services. Belle is the modern housewife. Peggy, the teenage daughter, fends off advances from boys. Brian attempts to please his father, aspiring to grow up into a man just like him. And little daughter Darlin', who is still new to the world around her. Life for the Cleeks is just as Chris would like it, until the day he brings home a feral woman. Then things get a bit messy.

Based on the book of the same name, The Woman is far from your typical horror movie. In fact, the monsters that hide beneath the bed at night do anything but. It's easy to confuse yourself at first blush who the bad guys are - especially if you only look at the trailer.

It's not difficult, once you get the whole plot sussed out, what The Woman represents to the Cleeks - men and women, alike. It's less of a horror and more of a suspense thriller. Nevertheless, it's a movie worth watching. I would explain further, but fear I may let spoilers slip. Just go watch it.

The Woman is available on DVD and BluRay.

Until next time, keep on huntin'.