When you're like me, there are three settings: Manic, depressed, and grey. Most of the time, I'm in the grey mode. I get my work done. I read a couple of pages here and there. I write a post. When I'm manic, I'm rampaging through several tasks at once. I attempt to read while shelving, cooking, cleaning, writing, jogging (who am I kidding?), showering (this is actually true), when I should be sleeping. I get nothing done. I don't even read a page. And if I do finish a book, my mind is reeling that I can't sit still but for two seconds. When I'm depressed, I don't even attempt anything. I don't read. I don't have it in me to write. And I just want to stay in bed and do nothing. Now most of you are already stating you have days like this, and your mama said you'll have them. My days-like-this stretch for weeks. And sometimes, months. As of late, I haven't been motivated to read anything. Everything I pick up, I lose interest in. And every time, I try to write, I wind up typing the same sentence over and over. My reviews are never that great. The only real effort I put into a review is when I'm doing it because I got a book out of it, or because it's for Alison Tyler. So, I'm sure you've noticed the lack of effort in most of my posts of late.
Right now, I have The Hobbit sitting beside me. I have the TV blaring. And I'm trudging through this post as best as possible. As much as I love J.R.R. Tolkien's book, I don't have it in me to read it. I just don't care. As of late, I've been both manic and depressed. I have days when I crack up over anything and everything. And then the next, I'll be introverted. There are times, when the world seems like a wonderful place. Others, I just want to snuff myself out (don't worry, I won't).
A lot of this stems from my relationship (I have none, really) and the fact that I miss my son. I haven't spoken too much about my personal life here because it rarely relates to books (and this is a book blog, after all). As of last year, I've been separated from my girlfriend of several years, who happens to be mother of my child. We attempted to fix things, but in the end, I'm just not what she was hoping for. I stated several times I've accepted the situation, but it's obvious that I haven't. And this has put my emotions (usually in check) into a tailspin.
Once I get over this hump, I'll resume reading and posting. So until then, happy huntin'.